me: I think that I may be getting bitter because I keep muttering "fucking idiot" to myself after I hang up speaking with most people.
I need to pray more because I used to like these people that I'm calling.
(I do collection calls for people late on the House payments)
Stephen: yes, I find myself especially frustrated with people on Saturdays. it is a constant struggle part of me (the sinful part) gets so annoyed, put out, angry at these people sometimes, and then there is the other part of me that knows better. They say that your selfish nature and your spiritual nature are like 2 dogs constantly fighting and the one that wins is usually the one you feed the most. I find that true the more I complain or allow someone to upset me the more often my mood is sort of set for the day.
me: I can't remember if I told you or not, but at counseling on Thursday, we concluded that in order to help lara and I order our time, we're going to incorporate morning and evening prayer.
because I don't know if you and Rosa deal with this but it just feels so often that out time is just fleeting. days become weeks become months and NOTHING happens
we just come home and sleep and sometimes amuse ourselves with the playstation or even having sex.
even though I couldn't stand being without her, it still feels sometimes like it's almost pointless
and maybe by adding prayer into our lives we will give ourselves something more than whatever it is we're not having now.
to be continues...