Object: To respond to these questions using song lyrics from one band/artist. band: Pavement

01. Are you male or female?
darling don't you go and cut your hair
do you think it's going to make him change
i'm just a boy with a new haircut
(that's a pretty nice haircut)
[cut your hair]

02. Describe yourself.
I was dressed for success
but success it never comes
and I'm the only one who laughs
at your jokes when they are so bad
and your jokes are always bad
but they're not as bad as this
come join us in a prayer
we'll be waiting, waiting where
everything's ending here
[here]

03. How do they feel about you?
Lip on, on watery clay,
relationships hey hey hey
you kiss like a rock
but you know i need it anyway
angle for the ringside seats
when they fall
dont blame me.
[major leagues]

04. How do you feel about yourself?
after the glow, the scene, the stage, the set
talk becomes slow but there's one thing i'll never forget:
hey, you gotta pay your dues before you pay the rent.
over the turnstile turn out in the traffic
there's ways of living it's the way i'm living
right or wrong, it's all that i can do,
and i wouldn't want to let you be
i want a range life, if i could settle down,
if i could settle down, then i would settle down
[range life]

05. Describe your significant other.
So drunk in the august sun
And you're the kind of girl I like
Because you're empty, and I'm empty
And you can never quarantine the past
[gold soundz]

06. What would you rather be doing?
there is no castration fear
in a chair you will be with me
we'll dance
but no one will dance with us
in this zany town
chim-chim-chim, sing a song of praise
for your elders, they're in the back
pick out some brazilian nuts for your engagement
check that expiration date, man,
it's later than you think
you can't enjoy yourself, i can't enjoy myself
move that swing and
watch it break strafe like an arc
but i won't be there to leave you ah-ah-ah
'cause i don't have a clue anymore
maybe we could dance together
together together.
[we dance]

07. Describe where you live.
Imagine if you will Herr Proctor,
alias a nobleman,
son of son of scion scion.
Part of his rich inheritance,
parcel in generous [divorced sense] forklift beam.
Certain plots of land and living quarters
deemed by all gentlemen, and wives thereof,
grossly humane and frankly, quite undirty.
[conduit for sale]

08. Describe how you love.
Honey I'm a prize and you're a catch
and we're a perfect match,
like two bitter strangers,
and now I see the long,
the short of it and I can make it last,
I could spit on a stranger.
[spit on a stranger]

09. Share a few words of wisdom.
go back to those gold soundz
and keep my advent to your self
because it's nothing i don't like
is it a crisis or a boring change?
when it's central, so essential,
it has a nice ring when you laugh
at the low life opinions
and they're coming to the chorus now...
i keep your address to myself 'cause we need secrets
we need secrets crets crets crets crets crets back right now
[gold soundz] again

i stole this from my friend about_worth.